


Stay with Me

by casiferownsme



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aziraphale and Crowley love each other, Aziraphale has a gay panic, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idk how angsty this is, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-09-24 19:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20363605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casiferownsme/pseuds/casiferownsme
Summary: Aziraphale decides to stay with Crowley as his bookshop got burned down, but more happens than he bargained for, and stuff escalated.





	1. I invited You

**Author's Note:**

> Idk why I put myself and optcldrift through this. Enjoy :>

It felt weird to acknowledge, but Aziraphale and Crowley were technically heroes now. Sure, they barely had anything to do with saving the world from slowly dying a hot, fiery death. But they were the ones to influence the antichrist in the end. The angel and demon were sitting at the bus stop late at night. It was peaceful, really. Aziraphale was the first to speak up. “I suppose I should get him to drop me off at the bookshop,” he stated as he looked away from Crowley.

Crowley turned to Aziraphale, his expression turning sad. "It burned down, remember?" He reminded him, trying to keep his voice soft. His heart broke a little when Aziraphale frowned like that. "You can stay at my place... if you'd like.."

Aziraphale turned to face Crowley again with slightly wide eyes after hearing his offer. “I don’t think my side would like that,” he replied, stumbling over his words. He could barely bring himself to really look at Crowley.

"You don't have a side anymore," Crowley said, "Neither of us do," he added. It was plainly obvious they were on their own now. "We're on our own side."

Aziraphale just stared at Crowley in silence for a while. The look in his eyes were indescribable. The angel slowly turned his attention back to the bus that had pulled up in front of them.

He didn’t get on.

"What do you say, angel?" Crowley asked cautiously, hoping the answer would be positive. He really wanted- nothing. He had no right to want anything from the angel. He'd done enough.

“Well...” Aziraphale began, with a small smirk on his face. “It appears I’ve missed my bus, and it is getting quite late,” The angel was trying so hard not to grin.

Crowley's small, hopeful smile, turned into a full-on grin after Aziraphale said that. He stood up and offered him a hand, "Well then, let's get going, shall we?"

“Such a gentleman,” he teased, taking Crowley’s hand and walking to his car with him. He adored his best friend. They’ve been through so much together, it was hard not to.

Crowley drove them both to his place, ready to check on his plants to yell at them again. Anyway, he was really excited about Aziraphale living with him for a temporary amount of time.

Aziraphale complained about Crowley’s driving like he always did, and played some music on the radio to calm himself down.

Crowley found Aziraphale's comments about his driving quite endearing, so it didn't bother him whatsoever. Once they got there, he held the door open for Aziraphale and showed him inside.

Aziraphale looked around curiously as he walked into Crowley’s home. It really suited him, he thought. He looked at Crowley and smiled, placing his hand on his arm. “Thank you for this, Crowley. I really appreciate it.”

"Of course, angel," he smiled, then showed him his plants. "These are my dumb plants. They never obey, so I yell at them a lot."

“They’re lovely!” Aziraphale walked over to them and started to stroke the leaves, complimenting them as well. “They’re not dumb at all.”

"Angel, don't compliment them. Trust me," he shot a dirty look at his plants, taking off his jacket. "Make yourself at home."

Aziraphale took his jacket off as well and hung it up in Crowley’s closet. He then sat stiffly on the couch, not really *feeling* at home. He felt out of place in the demonic house.

"You okay there, angel?" Crowley asked his white winged companion. He looked super uncomfortable.

“Yes, I’m splendid,” Aziraphale replied with a small smile on his face. He wasn’t really looking at Crowley again. He never really did.

"You look like you're trapped in a situation you can't get out of. What's wrong?" Crowley sat next to Aziraphale, scooting a little closer.

“Well... I think some tea would make me feel more at home," He replied, finally looking at Crowley for a brief amount of time. Aziraphale had a sheepish smile on his face.

Crowley gave Aziraphale a slight nod, standing up and walking over to his kitchen to make the angel some nicely sweetened green tea.

Aziraphale looked around curiously while Crowley was gone. He took liking to the demon’s throne and decided to give it a try. He sat in it and got comfortable, sighing happily.

Once Crowley finished the tea, he brought it over to the table just to _not_ find Aziraphale there anymore. When he looked around for him, he found him.. sitting on his throne. "Well hello there, angel."

“Hello!” He smiled brightly and shifted around in his seat “I’ve taken a liking to this chair. I think I’ll keep it when the bookshop is rebuilt,” He teased, thanking Crowley for the tea before taking it from him.

"Hey hey, slow down there, angel," he laughed, "I'll help you make your own, but this is staying here," Crowley winked.

Aziraphale laughed softly as well, his eyes lingering on Crowley’s face. This wasn’t the first time his eyes lingered like that. Aziraphale was practically always giving Crowley serious heart eyes.

Crowley felt himself blush when Aziraphale kept looking at him, since the angel doesn't do that often. He mostly avoids having to make eye contact, actually. "So, any plans for the rest of the night or would you like to try sleeping as humans do?"

“I’d like that very much,” Aziraphale stood up after drinking the rest of his tea and looked at him. “I’m guessing I’ll have to sleep with you..? Unless you happen to have a guest room.”

"I don't, considering I don't usually get guests," Crowley bit his bottom lip, "But I definitely don't mind sharing my bed with you, Aziraphale."

“I think that’s alright as well," he waited for Crowley to lead the way and avoided looking at him once again. Just small glances every now and then.

Crowley brought Aziraphale to his bedroom, showing off his glorious double bed. "I don't know about you, but whenever I sleep, I put on 'pajamas'."

“So do I, actually! They’re blue and white and—... they were burned in the fire,” He spoke sadly and looked away, focusing on Crowley’s bed. “Your bed looks very comfortable!”

Crowley tilted his head, "Why yes, it's very comfortable," he smiled, snapping his fingers to put Aziraphale in his pajamas. "And your pajamas look comfortable too."

Aziraphale gasped and looked at Crowley with his eyes wide “oh Crowley, you didn’t have to waste your powers on me!” He couldn’t help but smile at the feel of his pajamas.

Well, the bright smile on Aziraphale's face was a sign that it was totally worth it. "It was my pleasure, angel," he grinned, taking his own pajamas out of the closet and getting changed.

While Crowley was getting changed, Aziraphale crawled into his bed and curled up in a ball under his sheets. They felt so nice against his skin, he made a sound similar to a purr. “This is wonderful.”

Crowley took off his sunglasses and placed them on his bedside table, a fond look on his face. "Glad you like it," he chuckled, laying down beside the angel.

Aziraphale was quite used to Crowley’s eyes at this point and he just looked at him with a small smile “Goodnight, Crowley," He snapped his fingers and the lights went out. It was his turn to waste his miracles.

Crowley fell asleep instantly that night. Having his angel there made everything feel so damn peaceful. The demon hoped he could have this for as long as possible.


	2. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew loving someone could hurt so bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness my writing is trash right now. Enjoy nonetheless ;-;

Aziraphale fell asleep quickly that night as well. He stirred around in his sleep and ended up cuddled up to Crowley’s chest by the morning.

Crowley's arm automatically slung itself around Aziraphale's waist when he felt his head against his own chest, then he buried his face in the angel's fluffy hair.

That made Aziraphale slowly wake up and quickly shoot up in bed. He was so flustered, he literally fell off the bed. “Ouch...” he whimpered and rubbed the back of his head.

Crowley's eyes opened quickly at the sound of a loud thump, then he looked around only to spot the angel on the floor. "Uhm, angel, what are you doing?"

“I’m. Um, I’m...” Aziraphale couldn’t tell a lie. So he decided to not answer Crowley at all. “What would you like for breakfast? I make scrumptious French toast," He smiled brightly and popped back to his feet.

Crowley lifted a brow but let it go. Maybe the angel was too embarrassed to admit he fell from the bed. Who knew? "I don't doubt that for a second. Thank you, Aziraphale," Crowley smiled and got up.

Aziraphale made his way to the kitchen in a hurry. He got to work making French toast and chopping up fresh fruits for the both of them. It calmed his nerves a bit when he made delicious meals like this.

Crowley had joined Aziraphale in the kitchen a couple of minutes later, watching him prepare the meal. "I didn't know you could cook, angel," he said, impressed. _I thought he just ate.. Guess I was wrong._ "Can I help?"

“Of course you can. Could you help me arrange the plates, please?” He finished making the French toast and turned the stove off. Aziraphale hummed a soft tune as he picked one up with a spatula. “I made a lot in case we want more.”

Crowley gave Aziraphale a small smile as he got out three plates. One for the angel, one for himself, and one for the rest of the food. He left the third one there and went to put their plates on the table.

Aziraphale sat at the table after pouring glasses of orange juice for them and took a seat. “Beautiful," He picked up his fork and knife before digging in.

Crowley chuckled, starting to eat his food after Aziraphale did. He thought it tasted absolutely amazing. "Wow, angel. You really _can_ cook," he said, tone impressed.

Aziraphale was obviously flattered because he was looking away from Crowley and smiling again. “Thank you, Crowley... I do like to eat, after all.”

"I'm gonna start liking it a lot as well because of your cooking," Crowley complimented him again, chuckling.

Aziraphale was too busy eating and taking seconds to respond. He really knew how to eat. Gluttony was a sin and he knew it. Yet here he was.

Crowley finished his food, waiting for Aziraphale to finish as well. He just watched him eat. Was that creepy?

Yet Aziraphale was used to Crowley watching him eat anyways. He finished up eventually and started to clean up. The angel carefully rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and started to wash the dishes.

Crowley dried the dishes after Aziraphale washed them, then put them away. "Thanks for your help, angel."

“Of course...” Aziraphale smiled and walked to Crowley’s bedroom to change out of his pajamas. He returned wearing his usual formal attire and fixed his bow tie.

Crowley stretched, quickly going to his plants to water them and yell. After he'd done that, he got changed and announced he'd be buying groceries.

Mostly just so Aziraphale had enough food to cook for himself and Crowley.

Aziraphale gasped when he heard Crowley yelling, but didn’t disturb him. “Of course, we do need ingredients for dinner. See you soon!” He waved with a smile.

"See you soon, Aziraphale!" He waved back, leaving his home and getting into his awesome car.

Aziraphale watched him leave through the window and immediately went to sit on the couch. He was silent for a while because he was thinking, but then he had a brilliant idea. With the snap of his fingers, Crowley’s apartment looked like a horrible mixture between the bookshop and his flat.

Crowley came back an hour later, stepping into his apartment. He dropped his bags immediately. "Aziraphale?!" He called for him. "What have you done??"

Aziraphale was sitting on his favorite couch which was now right next to Crowley’s sofa, sipping tea. “Welcome back— oh... oh, have I overstepped some boundaries? You did say to make myself at home. Where I go, my books go," he said with a cheery smile.

Crowley really wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn't bring himself to care as much as he should. "Okay, angel. Whatever you say."

Aziraphale looked like he felt really bad. He kept glancing at Crowley and then back at his books.

Crowley looked around, re-exploring his apartment. "I think it does give my apartment a little more life," He shrugged.

Aziraphale cracked a smile and grabbed a book. “Thank you, Crowley. You’re so nice to me," He put his glasses on and started to read. “By the way, I just finished telling your plants that they’re wonderful! Not a single spot on them! Aren’t you proud of them?”

"Proud of them?! Psh!" He laughed, "They are pathetic! They'll never keep up with the perfect plants of any of my neighbors," Crowley huffed.

Aziraphale gasped “well! Maybe a bit of encouragement would go a long way!” This was the side of Crowley that reminded Aziraphale that he was a demon. They were very different sometimes.

Crowley pouted, shrugging. "Maybe you should take care of them before I CUT THEM ALL DOWN," he yelled the last part at his plants, making them shake in fear.

Aziraphale held Crowley’s hand and smiled “shh, calm down, dear. There’s no need for yelling," He spoke in a soothing voice. The angel changed the whole atmosphere in the room.

Crowley looked down at their hands, head tilted and cheeks red. Why did the angel have this effect on him? Was this magic??

Aziraphale slowly let go of Crowley’s hand and went back to reading. It was just so peaceful in the room now. It must’ve been magic.

Crowley sat down on the couch, still blushing. He turned on the TV for a small distraction from Aziraphale's touch.

Aziraphale eventually put his book down and joined Crowley on the couch. He watched tv with him in silence. But it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was just peaceful.

"Any plans for today, angel?" Crowley asked after a while, stretching and resting his arms on the couch lean.

“Well, not really. I’ve sent people to begin rebuilding my bookshop. It shouldn’t take too long. How about we play a game to pass the time?” He suggested, looking at Crowley

"What game?" Crowley asked, turning to the angel a little more. The redhead didn't even know any.

“I’ll just make one up now. How about if we try and make assumptions about each other? To see if we know each other well," He suggested, shrugging a little.

"Okay good, you start," he winked, positioning himself comfortably to face Aziraphale.

Aziraphale looked up as he though of an assumption to make. “Silk is your favorite material.” He guessed, judging by the fabric of Crowley’s pajamas.

Crowley smirked, "You got me there," he shrugged, touching his pajamas. "My turn?" He asked, getting a nod from the angel. "You love being proper."

“What gave it away?” He chuckled softly as he glanced down at his clothes. “You... are secretly a soft, good man,” He said with a smile.

Crowley's eyes shot open, and his cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. "No I'm not.." he mumbled.

“Lying isn’t allowed in this game, Crowley... now, I want you to tell me the truth, dear," He demanded in the most polite manner ever. Aziraphale had his way of getting what he wanted.

"Whatever.." he mumbled again, looking down at the couch. "I dunno.." Crowley was so damn embarrassed.

Aziraphale was staring at Crowley curiously for once. He never saw the demon get so flustered. Was it satisfying? Maybe a little.

"Angel don't make me do this," he pouted, crossing his arms. "Please?" Crowley never thought he'd say please, like, ever.

“Oh, you don’t have to do anything. You’ll simply lose the game,” he stated casually and cracked another smile. Aziraphale certainly knew how to be cheeky.

Crowley's eyes narrowed, his frown deepening. "Fine. I'm nice. Move on," he said angrily, no real flame behind it though. Was the angel sure it wasn't secretly a _handsome devil _instead?

“That wasn’t so hard now was it?” Aziraphale chuckled at his behavior. “It’s your turn now.”

Crowley sighed, "You like teasing me about me being nice," he pouted, arms still crossed.

“Correct,” Aziraphale easily admitted and thought about what else he could say. “You still want to go to alpha Centauri together someday.”

"Yup," Crowley winked, "Absolutely, angel," the redhead practically purred. "Anyways, hmm... idea of being in my home made you uncomfortable at first."

“A little... but now I’m happy I came," His cheeks were slightly red from that wink, but he brushed it off. “You’ve been in a relationship before without telling me," He tried, curiously.

Crowley tilted his head. "No, I haven't. Where did you get that idea from, angel?" He lifted his brow, genuinely curious.

“Oh. Well I was sure... remember that woman back in Paris? I thought you two had pretty good chemistry," He shrugged, looking away from Crowley again. “You can be quite smooth. This is a surprise for me.”

Crowley huffed, then laughed softly. "Aziraphale," he clapped him on the shoulder, "I'm not attracted to women," he admitted.

Aziraphale’s eyes widened and he looked at Crowley again. "_Really_?" he laughed too, but out of relief. That was a disgusting thought, somehow.

"Yes," he chuckled again, "I have only felt attraction to men so far. Specifically one man, but.." he bit his tongue. Why can't he ever shut up?

Aziraphale was side eyeing Crowley. He was going to get that information if it killed him. “Well, who is it?” He asked, wondering if it was someone from hell.

"I can't tell you that, angel," he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Unless we play truth or dare."

“Okay, then we’ll play truth or dare. Truth or dare, Crowley?” He leaned forward a little in anticipation. Aziraphale was just dying to know. This stuff didn’t usually interest him, but this was about Crowley!

"Dare," Crowley smirked, wanting to keep Aziraphale on edge a while longer. He was also a little terrified of even telling him. What if Aziraphale thought of him as a disgusting creature?

“I dare you to tell me who you have a crush on,” Aziraphale said cleverly. He was so proud of himself for coming up with that.

"You can only dare someone physical activities angel," Crowley shrugged and thought _too bad _afterwards.

“Fine. Fine. I dare you to... oh, I don’t know. Go hug one of your plants,” he replied with a pout on his face.

"What?!" He gasped, "I'm appalled, Aziraphale, that you would make me hug those useless leaves," Crowley pouted as well, but did the dare nonetheless and wiped off his pajama afterwards. "Truth or dare, angel?"

Aziraphale giggled, covering his face as he did so. “Dare," He leaned back against the couch, ready for whatever the demon had for him.

"I dare you to..." Crowley hummed, thinking about what he could dare the angel. "I dare you to pat your head and rub your belly at the same time."

Aziraphale looked at Crowley like he had two heads but shrugged and tried to do it. He did it perfectly, because he’s an angel and angels are perfect. Or at least that’s what you would think. Aziraphale actually couldn’t do it at all.

Crowley laughed at Aziraphale's attempt, clapping. "Oh fantastic! Great show," he grinned, "You did _such_ a good job."

“Crowley, why is this so hard?” He literally looked so sad that he couldn’t do it. Aziraphale was still trying as he asked Crowley, “truth or dare?”

Crowley snickered, "Uhm, truth, because I'm pretty sure I can't pick the same one twice," he shrugged.

Aziraphale’s eyes lit up and he stopped making a fool out of himself. “Who do you have feelings for?”

Crowley stayed silent for a little, frowning a bit. Should he really tell him?.. Well, he decided to. "It's you, Aziraphale."

Aziraphale looked totally confused. He finally opened his mouth to speak. “Me...? I...” his cheeks were rosy once again and he avoided looking at Crowley. “I feel the same.”

"Seriously?" Crowley was pretty shocked. Out of all people Aziraphale met, he had feelings for some.. lowlife demon?

Aziraphale just nodded and fidgeted with his vest. He was so happy, anyone with eyes could see it. But he was also super nervous. “I’m going to make some tea. Would you like some?”

"Aziraphale," Crowley addressed him cautiously as he scooted closer to Aziraphale and placed his hand on the other male's.

Aziraphale’s eyes were darting between their hands and Crowley’s face. He suddenly stood up and rushed to the kitchen anyways.

Crowley sighed, leaning back on the couch. Damn it. Now what?

The angel was in the kitchen making the tea, taking longer than usually. Probably to avoid looking at Crowley.

Aziraphale returned with tea and sat next to Crowley again. “Here you go," He sipped on it carefully and stared down into the cup. Avoidance was Aziraphale’s specialty.

"Thanks," Crowley mumbled, sipping on the tea silently. He felt so embarrassed and a little pathetic, so he just wanted to give the angel more space.

Aziraphale changed the channel on the tv. He felt so awkward and embarrassed too. Honestly, he didn’t want to talk about it because change was scary.

Crowley finished his tea and brought it over to the kitchen to placed it in the sink. He retreated to his room to get changed and disappear off the face of the earth for a while.

Aziraphale let Crowley do whatever he wanted and stayed in the living room. He fell asleep on the couch for the night.

At 9 pm, Crowley went to go check on Aziraphale, who was asleep. He snapped his fingers to get him into his pajamas and got him a blanket so he'd be more comfortable. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Aziraphale curled up, his hands grasping the blanket in his sleep. He was completely oblivious to Crowley’s presence.

Crowley went back to bed and fell asleep feeling miserable. He was so angry with himself. Why did he do that?

Who knew returning someone's feeling would ruin everything?

And hurt _so_ bad..


	3. Is It Over?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley is self-loathing and the angel needs some space. Everything's going downhill for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops :> 
> 
> This chapter is quite short due to the next one being rather long (the two chapter were originally merged).

The next morning, Aziraphale woke up and found himself in his pajamas. He looked around at all of his books and sighed. He was home, but not really. Crowley was probably upset with him.

Crowley was still sleeping. He told himself he wanted to sleep for as long as possible and so he just stayed in bed after he woke up, trying to fall asleep again.

Aziraphale walked to Crowley’s room and gently woke him up. He kind of guessed what Crowley was trying to do. “Dear... wake up, please.”

"I don't want to," Crowley mumbled grouchily, pulling the blanket over his head. It was obvious he was still upset.

“Please,” He hesitantly pulled the blanket off of him and ran his fingers through his hair. “Crowley, I’m making pancakes for breakfast! You’ll love them.”

"I don't want pancakes," the demon murmured, the hand in his hair making him a little emotional. Aziraphale still tried being positive even though Crowley fucked it all up. He really wasn't good with these types of emotions.

Aziraphale backed off and nodded. “I understand... uh.. I apologize,” he whispered, walking out of the room. The angel ended up making the saddest pancakes ever, sitting at the table and eating them all by himself.

Meanwhile, the demon spent half of the day in bed because he didn't really need any nutrients or anything anyway. He just kinda wanted to disappear. He felt so bad, and so useless, and he was upset, and is that how being human feels like?? Yeah, no thank you.

But the angel, he just read books to distract himself. He figured he should probably leave. He thought all he did was burden Crowley, really.

And Crowley would deny if anybody asked if the demon ever cried, but it's true. He did. He cried a little, clutching his pillow. 6000 years gone because he couldn't even get himself together and eat pancakes with the angel. Why couldn't his body just discorporate?

Later on, the demon heard Aziraphale leaving the apartment. He didn’t really have anywhere else to go, so he went to the park nearby. The angel bought himself some ice cream to cheer himself up, but nothing would get rid of the pain that he felt.

  
Crowley had decided to give Aziraphale as much space as he needed by locking himself in his bedroom and not coming out until he felt a little better. He didn't know how many years that would take, but he guessed he'd just wait.

Even it it took forever.


	4. You're all I wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale meet again. Their hearts broke for each other, just to fix it for one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this was a wild ride. Be sure to vote for a potential time skip in my instagram stories, and thank you so much for reading. :)

Aziraphale and Crowley hadn’t seen each other for five whole years. That was a really long time for them to be apart. Aziraphale had returned to his bookshop which he repaired with another miracle since he couldn’t wait anymore. He rarely left it.

Meanwhile, Crowley hadn't left his bed at all, except to water his plants. He didn't even bother yelling at them anymore, because he was more pathetic than them. He also occasionally left the bed to shave, but he didn't bother for a week and now he's back to having a rough stubble.

Aziraphale on the other hand turned to eating to make the pain go away. He gained quite a bit of weight, and he avoided letting anyone see him in that state. His cheeks were fuller, and his stomach was rounder. He hated seeing himself in the mirror; he thought he was disgusting.

Crowley himself had actually lost quite a bit of weight and his face definitely gave it away. Rough cheekbones, skinny arms, skinny legs.. he'd probably have to start eating soon and trying to get his life back together to avoid having this body any longer.

The biggest reason he'd even lost the weight was because of his pathetic, depressive mental state. What was wrong with him?

But Aziraphale didn’t want to live in this state anymore either. He just wasn’t supposed to think like that. But it didn’t stop him from feeling that way anyways. He stayed completely isolated, realizing that it was his fault that they were separated for so long. If he just stayed with Crowley and faced his feelings, they wouldn’t be like this.

With a snap of his fingers, Crowley and Aziraphale could just make themselves look normal again, but while Crowley had no energy and he just really did not want to do it, Aziraphale barely thought of doing it because he didn't see the point in it.

Crowley just wanted to sleep.. preferably forever.

Aziraphale was the one who decided to suck it up and called Crowley after five whole years. Of course he had to be the one to do it because he messed up in the first place.

To Aziraphale's dismay, Crowley's phone probably hadn't been charged in a while, so the battery was dead and he didn't get the call.

Aziraphale was so worried about him that he stopped by his apartment and knocked on the door instead of testing his theory by recalling the demon.

_Who the hell could that be?_ Crowley asked himself as he slowly stood up and walked out of his bedroom and over to the door. He opened it slowly, peeking outside. "Aziraphale?" His heart started racing.

“Oh good, you’re alive,” The angel sighed in relief with a small smile. He noticed how thin and unkept Crowley was and he immediately felt guilty.

"Yeah, I guess.." Crowley croaked out, "Why are you here?" The demon asked weakly. He barely noticed Aziraphale gained weight. He never really cared much about his figure, he was beautiful anyway.

“I want to talk. Please. It’s been too long," he didn’t expect Crowley to let him in, he completely understood if he didn’t. Aziraphale looked pretty ashamed about his weight and about not reaching out for five years. And he really needed to talk it out with Crowley. He can't lose him.

Crowley opened the door fully and let Aziraphale in, quickly going to his room to put on a fluffy robe so he wouldn't look too thin and chaotic.

Aziraphale walked in and took a seat on the couch. It was too late, he already saw how Crowley looked. He was too focused on how terrible _he_ looked anyways.

Crowley sat down next to Aziraphale on the couch, a bit further away but still. He didn't say anything and just kept his arms crossed, to prevent them from openly shaking. "What did you want to talk about?"

“I want to talk about what pushed us apart in the first place. How long are we going to continue going on like this? Look at us!” He had tears in his eyes already. “Enough avoidance. Enough self pity.”

"I don't pity myself, Aziraphale. I deserve this. I fucked up," Crowley said sadly, trying to swallow the damn lump in his throat.

“No. Stop that,” Aziraphale rubbed his face out of frustration. The angel never got this worked up before. “We like each other. I’m sorry for running away, I was afraid. But I do love you, so don’t hurt yourself.”

Crowley's heart sank a little, since he didn't feel like he deserved this love anymore. "I'm pathetic. You can't love me. That should've ended long ago. Have you looked at me?"

“You’re not pathetic. You weren’t the one to run away from your feelings and hurt your friend in the process," Aziraphale said sadly, looking down at his lap.

The demon looked at him, frowning deeply. "I wasn't even man enough to contact you afterwards. Or leave my bed at all," Crowley sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“We both made mistakes. But I’d like to come back from them now.” The angel held Crowley’s hand carefully and looked at him for once.

Crowley looked down at their hands, shrugging. "I guess if you want that," five years of pain sure changed Crowley's whole personality. All he was no was self conscious and sad. Just not even rememberable anymore.

Aziraphale noticed the sad look on the demon's face and looked away again. He felt pretty empty inside too. Actually, it was surprising that he even brought himself to come over in the first place. He was incredibly glad he did, though. And when he turned to Crowley, his heart skipped a beat.

Crowley had scooted closer to Aziraphale and wrapped him up in a hug, the lump in his throat getting bigger and bigger until he'd finally started crying. _Five years._

Aziraphale embraced Crowley in his softness and shushed him. Tears spilled from his eyes as well before he rested his head against the demon's, whispering that it was okay.

Crowley sobbed silently, apologizing to the angel for not speaking to him in so long and for letting him wait. "I didn't mean to," he whispered brokenly.

“I didn’t mean to either.” Aziraphale hugged Crowley tighter and was afraid to let go. He was afraid of Crowley shattering, he was so delicate and damaged already.

Crowley was honestly so exhausted. He slept for so long and yet his exhaustion never died down, and it was probably because he was so far away from what he needed in so long, since the exhaustion was clearly not physical. "I missed you so much.."

Aziraphale pressed a soft kiss to Crowley’s cheek. He rested his forehead against his and closed his eyes, “I missed you too. Every day was painful without you.”

"For me too," Crowley sniffled, arms tightly around Aziraphale's waist. "We have so much time to make up for, angel. We have so much healing to do.." the demon said shakily.

“I know. I know,” he kept hugging Crowley and slid his hands over his sides, under his robe. He could feel how bony he was now. It made his chest ache.

Crowley jumped a little at Aziraphale's touch, feeling embarrassed which made him hug the angel a bit tighter. "I love you, I'm sorry.."

“Don’t apologize,” he whispered, pulling Crowley even closer if that was possible. Aziraphale couldn’t take his state anymore and used a miracle to change him back to the way he was five years ago. All he had to do was touch Crowley’s skin and let the power course through his body once again. "I love you, too."

Crowley whimpered at that, face completely buried in Aziraphale's neck. He was so embarrassed of doing this to himself, and his angel.

Aziraphale held Crowley’s sides again, kissing his head. “How do you feel?” He asked quietly. His touch was so gentle.

"Better, physically," he wiped at his eyes, then cupped Aziraphale's cheeks. "I'm really happy to have you back in my life, Aziraphale.. you have no idea.."

Aziraphale nodded in agreement. “I feel the same about you," He leaned in, asking Crowley for permission with his eyes. He was going to do what he should’ve done five years ago.

"Please," The demon answered to the silent question, leaning in as well until their lips touched, which made Crowley emotional all over again. He tried getting himself together, though.

Aziraphale’s hands slid to Crowley’s hair as he pressed their lips together more. They shared a chaste, short kiss which honestly made Aziraphale’s heart soar for the first time in years.

When they pulled away, Crowley sighed softly and held onto Aziraphale still. "I have wanted this for.. for so long, angel.. and then I lost you.. a-and now I finally have you back, and got what I wanted.." he smiled weakly, hugging him again.

“I’m really sorry,” he wanted to make it up to Crowley eventually. They used to be so carefree. Aziraphale looked around and noticed that Crowley didn’t move any of his stuff. He really was waiting for Aziraphale to come back.

"It's okay," Crowley whispered, just enjoying being held by his angel. "Please don't let go for a while," he murmured against his shoulder.

Aziraphale had to snap his fingers to make himself go back to his original weight, as he felt incredibly unhealthy and self conscious like this.

He sighed in relief and continued to hold Crowley, just as requested, who didn't seem to notice the slight shift.

Because why would Crowley ever notice? He thought he was beautiful no matter what.

And well, maybe they could finally be happy after all.


End file.
